All of us deal with self-consciousness to some degree. Throughout the first part of my 75 Hard Journey, I have become more aware of my mental weak spots. I have become more aware of the triggers that make me feel self-conscious, insecure, a wave of that “imposter syndrome,” whatever you prefer to call it. I’m working daily to get past these weak areas, and wanted to share with you a few suggestions on how you can do the same.
Step one is self-awareness. Get a clear understanding of the specific situations that cause you to go into a state of fear, uneasiness, defensiveness, etc. Here is an example that has shown up for me recently.
When attempting to promote my book, I have experienced hesitancy to do so because of how it may be perceived by others. I worry that people will look at the mission simply as a way to self-promote and/or make money for myself. I also fear that because I don’t have direct teaching experience, those in the special education profession will look at me as unqualified. If you have worked on a project like this, written a book, started a podcast, a business, or done anything requiring that you “put yourself out there,” you may be able to relate to these fears.
Step two is to reflect on why you’re feeling these insecurities, and ultimately working on differentiating between fear in your mind and reality. As I have reflected on my specific example above, there are a couple of core realities for me to keep in mind.
- No matter what you decide to do, there will always be people that disagree with it or don’t understand why you’re doing it.
- No matter what you decide to do, even if you have the best intentions at heart, there will always be people that think you are only doing it for selfish reasons.
- There is nothing wrong with working hard to achieve something that is going to benefit you!
In addition to these simple realities, it is important when reflecting on fears to ask yourself this question: “have any of these fears come to fruition?”
The answer may be yes, in which case the suggestions to follow on mindset will apply even more to you. The irony about most of our fears, though, is that the answer is usually “no!” There may be people out there who have seen some of my work and feel the way I described, but I have experienced exactly none of it. This realization alone helps me reset and remind myself that worrying about those things makes no logical sense at all.
Step three is developing an empowering mindset around your fears. Understand that fear, pain, and insecurity will never fully go away. There is not a magic pill, a certain level of success, or a combined number of hours working on these things that will eliminate those emotions; they are simply a part of the human experience. With that being said, what can we do about it? In my opinion, it comes down daily work on yourself and your mindset to push through these emotions. You may be rolling your eyes in anticipation of another suggestion to do the 75 Hard program with me. Yes, that is my current method of choice for building the mental toughness necessary to push through my fears and go after goals in my life. It doesn’t have to be for you, though. I have spent the better part of the last decade learning skills in the personal development arena, and have made significant progress in terms of my mindset, long before I ever committed to this program. You do, however, need to make a decision regarding how you plan to overcome the fears and insecurities that can plague all of us. In doesn’t matter which “part of life” we are talking about, either. Whether it is your relationships, your career, family life, or your perceived role in society as a whole, you have two options as far as I see it.
Option 1: Throw up your hands and say “there’s only so much I can control, so what’s the point.”
Option 2: Work every day on yourself, seek to become the best version of yourself in all areas of your life, and instead saying “there’s only so much I can control, but I am going to work as hard as I can to improve every one of those things.”
I’ll close with one of my favorite prayers that, for me, speaks to this mindset and the balanced mentality in our lives.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
