Patience is a foremost requirement if you’re wanting to achieve anything great. This is concept that is likely familiar to you; nothing earth-shattering here. The gap between the things that we “know” and those that are engrained into our mindset, however, is sometimes big enough to make us lose sight of something so simple.
In my life, there are a couple of core great things that I am working towards building: my family, my faith, and my mission here with Transcending Labels. There are a couple of suggestions I have for you as it relates to goals or dreams for your life.
#1. Take time to get clear on what it is you want for your life
Personally, I’ve spent a significant amount of time journaling and brainstorming to determine what is most important to me. Over the course of the past couple of years, it has become clearer to me that my family, my faith, and contributing to the special needs community are what matter most. So, my first tip in this process is to make the time for yourself to exclusively focus on what those things are for you.
#2. Define the current action steps to work toward your dreams/goals
The operative words here are “current” and “action.” Taking time to journal, visualize, and/or meditate on you want is all fine, but you need to take action (duh :)) for anything to happen. “Current” is the other keyword, in my opinion, because those action steps are going to change over the course of your life. Here’s my example as it relates to building a family life of which I am proud.
Step One: I got clear on the fact that the most important thing to me at the end of my life will be how I showed up for, loved, and took care of my family.
Step Two: Defining that for me, currently, the most important actions I can take are to become a better version of myself for the daughter we are expecting in a few months.
Step Three: Determining the next best action step I can take to become that better version. My conclusion? Completing the “Live Hard” program. I determined that if I can do that, then I will be as prepared as I possibly can to crush the challenges associated with being a first-time Dad.
#3. Be patient, and don’t give yourself an “end point”
You may have noticed that for all three of my big “goals/dreams,” there is not a destination. For my family specifically, I won’t be able to look back after one year of completing the “Live Hard” program and say “wow, so happy I completed that. I’ve achieved being a great Dad. Guess I can take a nap in perpetuity now!”
This is the fundamental problem that people have when it comes to creating life-changing habits. Everybody seems to want the quick-fix. Scientists have put out countless studies on ‘how long it takes to form an automatic habit.’ We would love to do something for 21, 30, or 60 days and feel like we’ve checked the box. This is why so often we hear of people getting into great shape, and then inevitably falling back into old habits, just to revert to where we started.
Let’s look at this as it relates to faith. I want to grow my relationship with God and make that the foundation of my life, as well as my family’s lives. When will I really be able to measure that I’ve achieved that? Never, and that is the point. I will constantly work on this every day to grow closer to God. My mission with Transcending Labels is no different. As long as I live, there will always be another person that has yet to be inspired by the special needs community and could still benefit from getting involved.
I’ll leave you with this: it is a good thing to have short-term goals. Within each of my long-term values above, I’ve broken it down into daily actions. For lasting, life-long results, though, it cannot stop there. We must instead have a lasting, life-long commitment and patience throughout.
