Do you struggle with anxiety? Duh, you might be thinking. Everyone does, at least from time to time. There are many schools of thought as to how we go about dealing with stress, anxiety, fear, etc. I believe in attacking it head-on with productive action.
Have you ever felt anxious or fearful after an intense workout? How about after successfully completing your “to-do” list for the day? I haven’t. I’ve found that my bouts with anxiety typically only happen when I’m avoiding doing something that I know I need to do.
This blog was inspired by the gratitude journal I recently created, combined with the fact that I am currently reading Linchpin by Seth Godin (highly recommend). Here is an excerpt from Godin on anxiety that I found to be accurate and helpful:
“Anxiety is the exaggeration of the worst possible what-if, accompanied by self-talk that leads to the relentless minimization of the actual odds of success. Anxiety makes it impossible to do art, because it feeds the resistance, giving the lizard brain insane power over us.”
The “lizard brain” is something you can learn more about in that book, but it’s essentially your weak/soft side telling you to give up on the hard thing, or to continue doing the easy thing (sorry Seth, I know that one sentence doesn’t do your book justice).
My suggestion for you as it relates to tackling anxiety involves a couple components:
- Address the source of the anxiety with yourself
- Do the thing you know you need to do, but don’t necessarily feel like doing (or that is causing you stress)
- Repeat daily, and realize it never goes away
Addressing the source brings me to the gratitude journal. One of the prompts in there is the question: “What is the Worst Case Scenario?” Specifically, think of something that is currently giving you anxiety: a presentation at work, asking for the promotion, the fact that you’re out of shape, etc. From there, jot down every possible “what-if, worst-case scenario,” and let yourself go down the rabbit hole into all of the bad things that could happen as a result.
“The presentation is an epic failure. I do that thing where I get so nervous my mouth gets dry, I can’t get out any words, everyone knows I’m nervous and they all laugh at me. Then, my boss calls me into his office and fires me on the spot.”
Here’s the deal: when you write out the “worst case,” it’s probably not going to happen; that’s step one in dealing with anxiety—that reality check that says “you’re worrying about nothing.” However, if we take the example above, those things could possibly happen. They are not entirely out of the question. So, step two is to ask yourself: “so, what? How will I respond if that does happen? Will I survive?” The answer is yes, unless you’re literally facing a life or death situation. This blog is addressing non-life-threatening anxiety. You know, the modern day kind that we all feel makes our lives so hard.
Step three is to decide what to do about it. I’m anxious about the presentation going horribly, so what do I do? Practice the freaking presentation until you can do it in your sleep.
How about with the promotion? Worst case is my boss says no, reviews what I’ve done in the past year, and either decides to give me less money moving forward or fires me altogether. Will I be OK? Could I find another job if said scenario happened? Yes. OK, what do I do? Go to him with a clear case as to why I feel I deserve the promotion. Rehearse what am I going to say, and go have the conversation as soon as possible.
Out of shape? Same process, rinse and repeat. I’m feeling bad about how I look and feel. Worst case is I keep getting heavier, I get depressed, and my partner leaves me for someone in better shape. Is this likely? No. Is this possible? Yes, if I do nothing. What do I do about it? Start running. Now.
It sucks, you’re out of breath thirty seconds in, but you push through a 45-minute run-jog-mostly walk. You feel better, and your anxiety is at bay for now.
The final component is understanding that everyone deals with anxiety, and it happens on a daily basis. You are not special because you have fears and worries that make it difficult to push forward. That qualifies you as a human. The objective, though, is to build yourself into someone who doesn’t need to think about going through these steps to overcome anxiety. You have the blueprint and you know what needs to happen to get on track.
I’ll leave you with a recent personal example. I completed “75 Hard” from the end of April-mid-July. Amazing program to build mental toughness and get you into a different gear of productivity, among other things. A couple days later, I began Phase One of the “Live Hard” program, which was thirty days and ended August 14. For 105/107 days, I was absolutely crushing my days because I was committed to this program. About a week ago, I started feeling anxious about work, how I was showing up in relationships, and a number of other things. Just feeling “off” and like I wasn’t on the right track. So, I took action. I committed to a 45-minute workout that day (had been slacking on it while off of the program), and to the clean eating habits I had been following during the program. The result? A freaking awesome day, and guess what? “I’m back.” That’s how I felt, anyway.
Phase Two of the program won’t start for a little while, but yesterday I did a “75 Hard Day” between phases; that’s my go-to now. I know that there will always be things in life that show up and cause stress, but I now also know that I have a specific protocol to get myself moving forward, ultimately removing that anxiousness. What’s yours?
