The most successful people in the world will tell you that learning how to deal with failure and push forward is at the forefront of why they have achieved at a high level. Many of them, from my experience of learning from afar, will say that it is really the only thing that matters. You will “fail” over and over and over, but the only way to actually lose in life is to quit.
“Achieving success” is a funny topic to me for a number of reasons. For starters, everyone has their own definition of it. I refer to the most successful people in the world as separate from myself, and admittedly that is because I immediately think of those people as the ones with large businesses, financial wealth and/or freedom, etc. Many of those the things I fully intend on achieving, but I’m not there yet. However, if I’m looking at all areas of my own life from a state of gratitude, I’d argue I’m right there with those “super successful” people. I’ve adopted what Ed Mylett calls “Blissful Dissatisfaction” in this regard. It means trying to live, as much as possible, on that line between “I’m deeply grateful for where I am and who I am” AND “I’m going to continue pushing and striving and growing because I’ve still got more to do.”
That said, this article was inspired by a commitment I made to you in my recent blog entitled “The Power of Saying Thank You.” At the end of it, I vowed to write one thank you note per day for 30 days, beginning July 16—here’s how it’s going so far. I began this 30-day challenge with completely forgetting that I made the commitment to begin with! Failure. I was five days into it when I remembered that I was supposed to be doing this thing. Think about that for a moment. I consider myself highly-motivated. I pride myself on personal accountability, being someone who does what I say I’m going to do, when I say I’m going to do it. On top of that, I committed to this thing in writing for anyone to see. And still, this type of thing happens to me. Not often, I might add, but it does. On day five, I had a decision to make. I could either give up, admit that I “failed” at it, and moved onto the next thing. Or, I could follow through on my commitment in some way, AKA deciding not to quit.
On day six, I wrote six thank you notes. Day seven I wrote another, and then I missed the next two days. What is it about this challenge that I keep failing to prioritize it?! That thought was frustrating. Anyway, on day ten, I wrote another three to make it up for it. I’m not trying to make you do a ton math here, but I reach 10 notes in 10 days—yay. The point is that I have been all over the place with this “commitment.” I put it in quotations because the reality is that I’ve fallen short I’ve what I said I was going to do, and it’s been more than slightly disrespectful to the word commitment. I will not, however, give up on it. I know that positive things will happen as a result of what I have done during these past two weeks, and I will also learn from it— how can that be a failure?
So, where can you apply this in your life? Where can you make the mental switch to redefine failure for yourself as simply quitting. If you don’t get the result you want, ask yourself this question: was that everything I had to give? If not, you didn’t deserve to get the intended result; OWN THAT! That is so important. If you didn’t really give your absolute best and follow through, don’t lie to others and yourself about it. That is a massive self-confidence killer. You didn’t deserve the result, be real with yourself. However, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Remember, you just can’t quit. Resolve to go at it again and give it everything you have. Have the humility to understand that you will “fail” or miss your desired result often if you are working towards anything meaningful. Keep moving forward and going after your goals in life with the same focus. If this is your lifelong mindset, you cannot lose.
